Posted in Poems

The Day I Met Myself

The day I met myself
I found myself kicking and biting off 
My knotted pink shoelaces
Torn kites and glue strewn across the floor
Sitting on a 7 feet high ledge.

I looked at her
Furrowing my brows
Like mud bordering ditches
I said "Hey love, why don't you step aside
Or you'll certainly fall downβ€”
β€”break your knees"

So she closed her eyes
And smiled
Smiled with her canines out
like she came to dine,
Pulling out the dead skin from her lips
Fiddling with her collar bone
Like she'll take it out any moment and behead someone

So she pulled me closer to the ledge
Put my hands on her chest
She said
"Listen"

Now I want to become an Ajanta painting
Paint me red,
Uproot the house of my neighbour
Put it on our roof
So I can climb higher

Origami the skin on my back
Fold it into wings,
I will fly to the sun
Put the same cream on it
That I put on my mother's burns

Take me to the galaxy
Let me skim around it
And we'll put that cosmic butter on our toast
And split it in half

And I wondered how I could think that
"If the spring doesn't kill me
the autumn will"
Wondered why I thought
That happiness is only just left like 
The peach stuck inside
the grooves of its pit

Then I finally understood
How drinking my own saliva all these years
Has made me absolutely mad
How my heart is a tight fit for my love
There are stretchmarks on my ribs.

And to the people I send my poems to
To the ones who say I'm sweet
Don't you see?
I've still not learnt to love myself
So I pull out my bandages,
Tie it around you
I'm saying
Don't let me fuck myself over
Don't let me fuck myself over.

I'm absolutely petrified
Vibrating like stars
Still afraid of those sensor doors in metroes
Afraid they'll leave me behind,
Alone.

I carry around my calm in a paper bag
I think I'll drop it these days
Trigger a nuclear explosion 
Like I did 61 years before I was born

Then I think how I was scared
That my teeth will break the day
They put these braces on
How they pierced in till the day
I heard a stranger 
Sing something about love and
Giving us away

How I was afraid to tie my shoelaces again
Till my friend made me climb
On the highest rod
Of those monkey bars,
Placed my shoes with her shoes
Took a picture and put it on instagram

And maybe we pray
So we can hold our hands
Maybe we dream
To wake up in a sweat.

An average person spends six months of their life
Waiting for the red lights to turn green
It takes time,
To clear the traffic in our heads

So let a stranger sing you to sleep
Count all your fingers again
Put vaseline on those chapped lips
Search for when the next meteor shower is
Again,

I am saying
I'm trying not to fuck myself over
I am saying
That if I were a stranger to myself
I would swing on the tail of an aeroplane
To look for myself
I would hollow the earth
Till I could find myself
Because I could fathom losing myself
If I could fathom losing you.






Author:

A young poet, deeply inspired by Maya Angelou. Books, poems, a good series and coffee are my fam. My dream is to eat chocolate on the moon while watching an earth I changed. Climate Activist πŸ’š, If you say something about Doctor who, I might kill you.

7 thoughts on “The Day I Met Myself

  1. Dang. This is next level shit. Did you just crawl out of a poem chrysalis and flap your newborn butterfly wings at us? Cuz this is incredible! You really captured a rainbow medley of feelings with this one. I felt nostalgic and wistful at the same time. Heartfelt, emotional, powerful, beautiful. Sublime. Exquisite. Tres Bien. I don’t know. I ran out of words. This is top notch, girl. Keep it up! Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to purchase some Cosmic Butter for my toast.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. i… honestly do not know what to say?? i could tell you that this poem is beautiful, but that feels like too small a word. honestly, this was AMAZING AND PERFECT AND THE BEST EVER AND BEAUTIFUL AND SAD AND HEART-TOUCHING AND I AM CRYING 😭😭 seriously, you write the most beautiful things of ever and your poems are literally greater than perfection and i love them so so sooooo much, i cant even find enough words

    Liked by 2 people

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